i wanna fall through the stars

On that chilly morning, the fire was already well underway by the time we rolled up to the scene.

Right before breakfast, we’d gotten a call that a fire was tearing through a nearby homeless encampment. These types of fires were always brutal; the flammability of their tents and the clustering of them made short work for a persistent blaze to power through, and left only devastation in its wake.

The second the apparatus was parked, we all exploded into action. As a probie, Garrett had adapted well to the process, though he still took direction from me more than anyone - a fact which clearly chafed against Liam, as one of the more senior firemen on the crew. But there wasn’t any time to fight about it, as the plumes of smoke and violent crackling of the fire meant there wasn’t time for anything except water, and lots of it.

FEBRUARY

With a wobbling clunk, I set the water bucket onto the concrete floor of the bay and started scrubbing down the rig. The bright overhead lights of the bay made it obvious just how badly the truck was due for a deep clean, even moreso when contrasted against the darkness of the oncoming nighttime outside.

Out of everyone on my crew, I was the only one that cared much to clean the apparatus properly to keep the paint free of scuffs and chips: as far as Heather was concerned, hosing it off was enough of a job well done, and the guys, of course, were more than happy to let me take on dirty work if it meant they didn’t have to do it. Cormorant, however, was simply considered far too above such a task.

Just as I’d wrung out the water from my towel, the sound of boots came stampeding into the bay. When I turned to see who it was, Garrett stood before me, looking both lost and flustered with wide eyes and pink cheeks.

“Yo,” I said, craning my neck towards him. “You okay? Need something?”

“Manny, I’m telling you, we gotta get together sometime. Drink some beers, shoot the shit— it’s been too long,” said Cliff, his voice made fuzzy from the phone’s speakers. “And I could really use some time away from Niecey— love her to death, but these pregnancy hormones got her actin’ up something fierce!”

“I hear you, man. Sometime soon, for sure.” I flipped the turn signal on as I made a right at the intersection. “Hey, it’s been great catching up, but I gotta go. Cleo’s making me take her to some dumb fuckin’ art museum for one of her school projects. Tried to get out of it, but no one else will take her, so obviously, it falls on me, right?”

Cliff let out a sympathetic ‘woof’. “I’ll keep you in my prayers, buddy. Oh— you outta take her to that, er, that sculpture center— Nasher? I wanna say it’s the Nasher Center. We took Savannah there a while back on a free day, and honest to God, Manny, I never laughed so hard in my life! The things people get paid to make! Makes me wonder why I ever joined the force.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” I tapped the screen of my phone and pulled up the GPS, typing until something that sounded like it came up. “Who knows, maybe she’ll find something worth writing about there.”

“Here’s hoping,” he said. “Y’all have fun, now.”

“Thanks, man. See ya.” I tapped the End Call button and swiveled back to the GPS before sliding my truck up to the sidewalk beside Mercy’s house.

The next day, as I pulled out of the Walgreens parking lot, I flipped the radio on without even looking at it. The radio barked back immediately: you’re listening to 97.1 - the EAGLE.

Rush hour traffic was always awful, but as I sat behind a banged-up Corolla being driven by an absolute psychopath, it gave me the chance to glance down at the bag my prescription sat in.

You aren’t going to take those drugs, are you? I could hear my mother say, flat yet cruel - her usual tone of voice. You really are just like your padre— necesitas estar en un manicomio.

She wouldn’t get it, and thank God she’d never have to try; that little yellow bottle and the contents within it were going with me to my grave.

In the cupholder, my phone started vibrating, so I shoved the prescription bag in between the seats and reached for it. As I grabbed it, I shot a look momentarily at the screen, though I really didn’t have to.